Almost everyone goes through sexual issues at some point—they’re that common. Many people are hesitant to seek our sex therapy because they don’t know exactly what it will entail. It can sound intimidating to tell a stranger about the most intimate aspects of your sex life. Still, it helps many people heal their relationships, restore intimacy, and find ways to overcome sexual obstacles and increase satisfaction.
Sex Therapists: What They Are, and What They Aren’t
Sex therapists are licensed professionals that go through a rigorous academic process. And, sex therapists have in-depth experience with science-backed ways to remedy sexual dysfunction and cultivate sexual health. They understand both the common and rare sexual problems in meaningful ways that traditional therapists typically do not.
Traditional therapists will know about therapy in general, but they may not be able to address more complex sexual issues. If you go to a traditional therapist with a sexual problem, you may find yourself talking primarily about your relationship or childhood and never quite getting to the heart of the issue—what happens in the bedroom.
Sex therapists’ services don’t overlap with sex educators and sex surrogates. Sex educators provide specific tips on sexual acts, like how to give a better blow job, for instance. But sex educators don’t physically touch their clients, either.
Sexual surrogates will take a more hands-on approach, and their services are not legal in every state. If you work with a sexual surrogate, you may experience sexual touch. They may be able to watch you masturbate to help you understand why you aren’t climaxing, or they may experiment with different types of sensations so that you can recover from erectile dysfunction. Sexual surrogates aren’t licensed in the same way sex therapists are, so the industry is a bit more unregulated than the field of psychology.
What You Can Expect in a Sex Therapy Session
One of the most frequently asked questions about sex therapy is whether there will be touching. There should never be physical contact in a sex therapy session. When you begin sex therapy, it will be like seeing any other licensed counselor only the focus will be on healing, improving, or discovering your sex life and potential. It’s talk therapy with a specialization.
Your First Sex Therapy Session
After you select a therapist, your first visit will likely consist of an evaluation. You’ll talk through what sexual issues you’re currently dealing with, and you can expect a lot of questions about your background and other contributing factors to the problems at hand. You will come up with some goals, too, so that you have a specific benchmark for success.
After you’ve completed your evaluation, you can expect homework—sexual homework. There may be sexual techniques or mindfulness exercises, anything that will help you overcome whatever gets in the way psychologically between you and your pleasure. When clients complete the homework, they are often shocked by how effective it is and how much improvement they see.
Finding a Good Therapist
There are a few signs that you’ve found a great sex therapist that can help you along your sexual journey. The first is that you have to like and trust your therapist. If you don’t feel comfortable, you won’t be able to tell them the intimate details necessary to make progress. The next sign is that you are on the same page about your priorities.
If your sexual health is not where you want it, don’t hesitate to reach out and get some help from an expert. Call me for a free consultation, and we can work together to create a brighter sexual future for you.
Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to take the sex quiz for women.