Wondering how to reach self-acceptance and well-being after being diagnosed with an STI? Check out the tips below to get started on a journey toward stigma reduction and a pleasure-focused sex life.
How to Minimize Stigma
Minimizing stigma for people with STIs is a tricky endeavor. Stigma happens when a story with a stereotype replaces the lived reality of someone dealing with something. So, when you hear about someone living with an STI, ideas of promiscuity or dirtiness may come to mind. Replacing these thoughts with something neutral and open-minded is critical because, left unchecked, these negative notions prevent people from seeking help, getting diagnosed, or maintaining their self-worth after a diagnosis.
There’s a lot that the medical community could do to reduce the stigma during diagnoses to be proactive about providing people with resources and hope rather than shame. The focus should always be on healing the physical symptoms and uplifting the patient. It would be even better if patients came away from their doctor’s appointments reassured, regardless of whether they received a positive result. Unfortunately, the medical community often isn’t trained on how to handle these results with empathy.
Often, what people who have STIs need most is community. When you reach out to others who are in the same situation as you, you’ll find that sexual shame disappears and that you feel more supported than ever. Finding a local support group can help you feel like yourself again and make some friends at the same time.
Medication Can Be a Pill
Sometimes, a daily medication can be a reminder of the pain you felt during diagnosis, when you disclosed your status to a partner, or when you first experienced symptoms. There are other side effects you may undergo while taking medications. You and your doctor should decide whether medication is necessary depending on your STI, symptom level, and sexual activity. If you and your partner are both positive, taking a medicine to reduce symptoms may not be at the top of your priority list. On the other hand, if you’re having an outbreak or getting to know a new partner, you may well want medication. The idea that you must be medicated no matter what is based on stigma and other people’s fear and ignorance of what the reality of living with an STI is like.
How to Tell Your Partner About an STI
Telling your partner about your STI status can be intimidating but gets easier with practice. People are critical when you get a disease from sexual activity because sexuality is also stigmatized in our culture. You may be defensive because you’re prepared to receive judgment from your partner. Fear and misinformation surrounding how you get STIs may strain your relationship if your partner isn’t sex-positive or accepting. Communicating clearly and confidently about your sex life is one of the keys to lifelong sexual satisfaction, so this skill will reward you for years to come.
For more tips on how to talk to your partner about sex, check out my video below:
As we progress as a society, hopefully, the conversation about STIs will evolve, and it will be as simple as asking for consent. The more comfortable people become having these conversations, the more quickly we can release stigma. When you meet someone new, you’ll want to talk about what barriers you prefer to use and what sexual activities you are comfortable engaging in to lower someone’s risk of contracting the STI if that is a priority for them. The STI conversation is important even during casual sex. Don’t rely on condoms as the sole way to keep your partner from contracting it. Vulnerability is sexy, and so is prioritizing the other person’s sexual health and safety.
Work With a Sex-Positive, Stigma-Minimizing Therapist
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Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to take the sex quiz for women.