Tantra is where sex and spirituality meet. More than merely extending sex, tantra can bring you greater intimacy with your partner and yourself and give you better insight into what sexuality means to you. The tantric mindset views sex as an exchange of energy, something more meaningful than the act might seem at first glance. Sex isn’t just a physical experience—it’s an emotional and psychological one, too. If you want more sexual enlightenment and elevation in the bedroom, this is the practice for you.
Modern Tantra
When most people hear the phrase “tantric sex,” they think of marathon sex that lasts for hours. Yes, that’s part of it, but there’s so much more that tantric sex has to offer. Rather than simply thrusting or licking in slow motion, it’s more about taking your time getting to the types of touch you know you (or your partner) like. Every part of sex can be slowed down to a pleasantly excruciating pace—even eye contact. Synchronizing your breathing is an ideal way to feel connection and bring a common meditation technique for calming down into the bedroom.
Further, it’s about slowing your mind down—not just your body. Our minds are often running at 100 miles per hour with worries about family, friends, or work, to-do lists, plans, and more. To interrupt the cycle of constant thinking and over-thinking, you’ll need to find a way to slow your brain down. Exercise can help calm your brain, and so can meditation. Combine the two and do a walking meditation if you want benefits from both.
Delaying Gratification
Extending each step of sex is easy for some and harder for others. The most difficult component may be the delay of gratification. Delaying your ejaculation if you have a penis can be especially difficult. Fortunately, it’s a skill that you can practice until you improve. Eventually, you can learn to see ejaculation as a choice rather than something unpredictable and uncontrollable. For more information on recovering from premature ejaculation, check out my video below:
On the other hand, vulva-owners often feel like they take too long to reach climax. Tantra can help there, too, by requiring you to feel more connected to your body and quiet your mind. If your partner feels like it’s hard to reach climax or focus on sex, you can create a tantric experience that involves all of the senses that can help them stay present and grounded in their body.
Tantric Authenticity
One of benefits of tantra is that it gives you the time to show up as the fullest version of yourself in the bedroom. Showing up as yourself is so crucial in the bedroom, especially when there is so much pressure to perform for people of any gender. Some may feel the need to have a rock-hard, hours-long erection, while others may feel the need to prove that they can climax from penetration alone. Rather than perfection, tantra hails curiosity and play as the ultimate goals of fulfilling sexual experiences. Taking the time to get what you want out of sex is empowering and can build your sexual confidence.
Even if you’re not the spiritual type, thinking of sex as a sacred ritual can be a revolutionary paradigm shift. It takes the pressure off of the outcome and helps you reframe the experience as something that you are just here to enjoy. Tantric sex will look different for everyone because not everyone likes to linger on the same sensations or activities.
Ready for More?
Contact me for a free consultation today.
Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to take the sex quiz for women.