Though there hasn’t been much research on the P spot, more and more men are learning that it’s a powerhouse of pleasure. Many men love prostate play, but still others are nervous about trying it. They may not be anxious about the physical act but about the psychological implications of getting into “butt stuff.”
The truth is that, as you age, your erection may become more and more unpredictable. If you have certain types of cancer or an extreme case of ED, your erection may not be a reliable source of orgasms anymore, and you may need to turn to your prostate for pleasure. If you learn how to wield the prostate’s power now, you’ll be much further ahead in sustaining sexual pleasure as you get older. And for more tips on how to handle a less-than-predictable erection, check out my video below:
Shame and Homophobia
Some men may not have any interest in having a new type of orgasm, which is fine. But others may be scared to try it due to internalized homophobia. Anything having to do with anal pleasure is considered by some people to be inextricably linked with homosexuality. And since there is a still pervasive stigma that LGBTQIA+ people face, people are afraid to experiment with prostate gratification, even in the privacy of their bedroom.
If you have invasive, anxious thoughts about prostate play making you gay, you may want to examine where you inherited these ideas and talk to a therapist. Homophobia is often an idea that you didn’t consciously decide to hold, but that was passed down to you through your childhood, being raised in a religious household, or taught to you by family members. Learning where these fears came from can help you dismantle them and welcome the joys of prostate play without shame.
Finding the P Spot
There is a strange correlation between the P spot and the G spot because they can be found in very similar ways. You can insert a well-lubed finger a couple of inches into either the vaginal canal or the anus and press upward to find either spot. Using lube is critical because a dry finger can cause pain or injury and won’t give you insight into whether you enjoy the feeling. Try a few times before deciding it’s not for you, as your mood and other factors can significantly impact your experience.
Keep in mind that, for most men, reaching prostate orgasm may take longer than reaching an orgasm via the penis. Getting turned on first and taking your time can make all the difference as you experiment with this new area.
P-Spot Orgasms
For some men, ejaculation and orgasm are inextricably linked. But other men experience dry orgasms after certain types of medical procedures, and you may have a dry orgasm during a P-spot orgasm. The sensation may feel unlike anything you’ve felt before, and the contractions you experience may be different. You may also not have a refractory time in between orgasms, meaning that mastering your P spot may lead you to be able to have multiple orgasms. Rather than ranking your orgasms, accepting the different types of pleasure for what they are will allow you to experience more joy overall. The bottom line is that you shouldn’t expect a prostate orgasm to be identical to a penis orgasm, and that’s a good thing.
Trying Toys
Sex toys are excellent tools for anyone who wants to broaden their definitions of sexual pleasure, but they can be especially helpful for someone trying to achieve their first prostate orgasm. If you have reach issues or want something that will do the work for you, try a butt plug shaped specifically for targeting your prostate. Hands-free toys will allow you to stimulate your penis or play with your partner at the same time, which could enhance the experience and give you a better shot at climaxing.
Get Personalized Help
Working with a therapist who specializes in sex can fast-track the process to prostate play. When you’re ready, contact me for a free consultation!
Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to take the sex quiz for women.