If you don’t have a favorite sex toy in your nightstand yet, it’s time to change that! Below are the ways that sex toys can benefit your sex life and why they are still sometimes considered taboo.
Sex Toy Stigma
Sex toys often face stigma. People may believe that sex toys are inferior to coupled sex or that sex toys should only be used to correct a problem. Worse yet, in some places, sex toys are still illegal. But sex toys, like all toys, are made to increase fun and pleasure! And it would be disappointing to miss out on that because of out-of-date, distorted information.
Sex toys aren’t something you use because you’re not very good in bed. They’re something that you use to complement your sex life or solo play routine that can take your orgasms to new heights. They can also help you learn about your body so that you identify every erogenous zone and type of touch that it enjoys.
Dismantling sex toy stigma will take time. But the more we talk about sex toy use, the less power the stigma will have because it will become normalized. If you have open-minded friends you trust, consider telling them about your sex toy use. You just might find out you all use sex toys!
How Sex Toys Can Help Couples
How to keep the spark alive is one of the most common questions sex therapists hear from their clients—it’s a question I get all the time. Sex toys are a great way to get your and your partner’s sexual interest piqued.
First, sex toys can help you learn more about your partner’s body. Maybe you didn’t know they were into prostate play—perhaps they didn’t know, either! When situations like this occur, you are both in exploration mode, just like you were at the beginning of the relationship. It can return your sex life to the heat of the days when you were getting to know each other.
Next, trying sex toys means you’re trying something new. Getting into a sexual routine can make your sex life dull, and sex toys bring you right out of a boring habit into brand new territory. To accommodate the sex toy, you may have to change positions in order to continue to have sex. Or, it may not be possible to have sex while using the sex toy, meaning you might be masturbating in front of each other. Either way, it’s bound to get sexy in your bedroom!
Sex toys can also help narrow the orgasm gap. People with vulvas notoriously orgasm less than people with penises do during partnered sex, and sex toys can help with that too. Penetration isn’t enough stimulation for the majority of vulva owners to climax, but using a clitoris toy at the same time during intercourse can give them enough stimulation to help them orgasm regularly.
Lastly, wearable sex toys can be the perfect accompaniment to a night out. For more tips on how to make date night sexier even if you have kids, watch my video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJcT3wH-st8
Other Benefits of Sex Toys
Toys can help with pain during sex. Vaginal and anal training kits can prepare your body to enjoy penetration comfortably. Some will stimulate blood flow which can also help with lubrication and reduce friction during penetration, making insertion more comfortable and free of injury.
Have sexual dysfunction? Sometimes, sex toys can help. If you have trouble getting hard, toys are available for soft use so that you can put the toy on and use it until you’re hard. C-rings may also be able to help you sustain your erection for longer.
If you’ve never had an orgasm before, sex toys can help with that, too. Sex toys are great at distilling what works for many people with the same genitals as you, so you don’t have to worry if you’re doing it “right.” They can help overcome problems like mobility issues, the inability to reach certain spots, or even fatigue. And finally attaining the ever-elusive orgasm can be a huge bump to your sexual confidence.
Add Some Adventure to Your Sex Life
Contact me for a free consultation, and I can help you keep exploring in the bedroom.
Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to take the sex quiz for women.