When you have a long-term partner, you often fulfill many roles in each other’s lives: roommate, friend, cheerleader, and perhaps even caregiver or co-parent. It’s no wonder that the role of lover often gets lost in the mix. Jumping from the familiar feelings of everyday routine into the spirit of passion and lust is difficult for some couples, but adding in seduction techniques can help. Use the tips below to start seducing your long-term partner.
Consider What Worked in the Past
If you’re in a long-term relationship, chances are that when you met, sparks flew. Remember the first time you seduced your partner. How did you dress, act, and feel? Putting extra effort into looking nice, creating flirty banter, and curating your date with your partner can help recreate the energy you felt initially.
Of course, it’s easier to seduce someone when the relationship is new. You have a brand-new person to explore sexually. After time passes, you may unintentionally start taking your partner for granted and become lazier in the bedroom, going through the same motions each time you get intimate. Remember that sex is never guaranteed, and neither is your relationship’s continued longevity. Putting in the effort is worth it if you want to keep things hot.
Slow Down—A Lot
When you have extensive experience having sex with your partner, it’s tempting to rush the process. You already know how it will end, so why would you take more time out of your busy schedule? The truth is that having quick sex all the time gets old. Any kind of sex you have repeatedly will feel dull. Slowing down and enjoying the time before sex will amp up your anticipation.
An excellent way to do this is to take sex off the table for a night. Instead, spend your time together naked and exploring. But don’t dive into the parts you know your partner likes. Focus on the areas that you don’t already know are likely to turn them on. Try different styles of touch on their body and watch their reaction closely; you may learn a new way to turn your partner on. Getting creative by having a one-night no-sex rule can help you see your partner in a new light and bring some inspiration to your sex life.
Give Each Other Space
One of the common problems that arises in long-term relationships is that the couple spends an incredible amount of time together. They start to feel like roommates or worse, siblings, and they are annoyed with each other more often than they feel like tearing each other’s clothes off. Sexual tension is impossible to build with this level of familiarity and constant contact. Eventually, they begin to feel like they know everything there is to know about their partner—but this is never the case. Taking up independent hobbies, spending quality time with your friends, or learning a new skill can help you get some space from your partner and re-ignite the spark.
Keep Sex on the Brain
Long-term couples who have hot sex lives keep sex on the brain all day long, and they also start foreplay well before they have sex. You can create a relationship environment that’s ripe for hot sex by sexting each other, flirting during the day, and touching your partner sensually. Add in lingering goodbye kisses before your workday, texts with your latest sexual fantasy, and dirty talk during dinner, and you’ve built up to a mind-blowing sexual experience by the end of the day.
For more ideas on how to re-ignite the spark in your relationship, check out my video below:
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Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to take the sex quiz for women.