For many women, the unfortunate reality is that sexual activities cause pain. This pain can come in many forms: dryness, discomfort during sex, or even pain after orgasm. The technical term for pain during sex is dyspareunia, and a surprising number of women have this experience. Let’s talk about what causes sexual pain and what your options are for treating it.
Causes of Sexual Pain
There are so many different causes of sexual pain that it can be challenging to identify what’s causing it. Yet, it’s crucial to try since many of the causes of sexual pain can be treated—meaning you won’t have to live with them forever.
The source of your pain could be simple, like an untreated infection or a medication that you’re on that dries you out. Or it could be the way that you’re built: you may have a twisted uterus or the shape of your anatomy that causes pain. Even pinched nerves can affect your pelvic floor. Lastly, skipping foreplay can result in painful sex because you won’t be lubricated enough and you may feel extra sensitive. Checking with your doctor can give you a clearer picture of any medical issues that are standing in between you and a happy, healthy sex life.
Menopause
Natural causes like aging can mean that you start experiencing pain during sex, even if it had always been pleasurable before. As you age, you become less naturally lubricated, so it’s essential to use a body-safe lubricant to help make sex less painful. You could also try hormonal treatments if your doctor agrees that’s a safe option for you.
Dysorgasmia
Dysorgasmia is a condition where you experience pain after orgasm. It’s not as common as pain during sex, but it does occur, and people of any gender can experience it. Some people even have pain both during and after sex. But some people may find that they enjoy sex, have a pleasurable orgasm, but afterward, they experience pain.
Endometriosis
Endometriosis is a widespread cause of sexual pain for women. In fact, some estimates suggest that ten percent of women experience it. Physiologically, endometriosis occurs when uterine tissue grows outside of the uterus, which causes pain and can also hamper your ability to get pregnant. If you experience chronic pain and extremely painful menstrual cramps, it’s a good idea to mention your symptoms to your doctor to find out if you have endometriosis. And the sooner you can speak with a doctor, the better—because getting diagnosed can be a long, drawn-out process.
Treatments for Sexual Pain
Since there are so many causes of sexual pain, there’s no cure-all solution. But there are ways to mitigate the pain and find sex pleasurable again after you’ve identified the source of your pain.
Some of the treatments for sexual pain are at odds with each other. For instance, endometriosis needs estrogen to grow, so if you have endometriosis, you may take meds to reduce your estrogen production. On the other hand, if menopause is the culprit, it could be a lack of estrogen causing your sexual pain. If you have low libido, hormonal treatments may help with this, too. Finding a doctor that’s willing to work with you until you find the cause makes all the difference.
In some cases, physical therapy or even talk therapy can help people become stronger and find new ways of coping with the pain. Sometimes, taking sex off the table with your partner for a little while can give you some psychological space between your pain and your desire. Then, you can start from scratch together, touching each other in non-sexual ways. A process called sensate focus can help you re-learn to enjoy sexual touch at your own pace.
Ready to have better sex? Contact me today.
Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform.